Hey..so tomorrow is my last day at the casino.  Im really gonna miss some people :(  But I gotta move on in life, I start school May 19.  Im so excited!  then i work mon-fri and im off saturday and sunday.  Woot Woot!  Tomorrow is mothers day, so im leaving work at 3, going to my moms house for a cookout.  i got her a concrete angel and on the wing it says "Family is lifes foundation" or something like that.  and i got her a cute card :)  yayyy me.  She brought me a Moo-late from DQ today to work :) She loves me lol.  SHes doing better in health ways. 

My Dad FINALLY came and seen my house...he didnt go all the way through it..just to the living room and kitchen and seen Tabithas room.  Which is fine with me, cuz atleast he came in haha.  It was nice though.  He walked in smoking though..and i was like um Dad..you cant smoke in here.  And hes like well thats good.  And stood there..i was like okay then haha.  Oh well..just happy he finally got the courage to come over.  Well, i gotta get ready to leave work..im leaving 2 hours early ...again haha

So I put in my two weeks at the casino Thursday.  It was sad, I love most of the people..hate the job lol  Actually its not to bad..I just get to bored..i gotta get up and move it has made me verrrrrrry lazy lol.  I've gained a lot of weight since i started working here, like 40 lbs.  Yeah...............   

BUT on the good side, im going back to school!!!!! YAY ME!  So ill be going to school and working at Clydes Drive-In full time, get me some exercise.  I have worked at Clydes for 5 years, and this year and last year i had only been working 2 days a week.  So I called my boss there Thursday morning and this was our conversation

Me: "So..i Have a question...well a statement then a question...I hate my job....if i quit will you give me 5 days a week?"

Spence: "yep"

Me: "No hesitation?"

Spence: "Nope"

Me: "Any days I want?"

Spence: "Yep"

wooooooo hoooooo!  I make more money there than I do here anyways.  THe last few times I have worked i brought in atleast 70-80 dollars a day in cash, then I get paid 4.00 an hour.  Which for a waitress...isnt bad at all.  So anyways, let me update on my girl in Milwaukee, the ex ended up breaking her friends heart..which I told her would happen lol So she feels a little better.  I dont get why girls do that to eachother.  Girls are weird people.  Especially with all the things going on in the news.  I seen one the other day a like 13 year old beat the heck out of a 12 year old....and then there was one where they dont know if the other girl will be able to hear or see again.  That is just sick.   We had girls like that in school, thank god I was never one of them lol I was the mediator.  woot woot. 

So my friend Heather left yesterday, she moved to Marquette to work at the spa.  Shes a massage therapist.  Great work :) But im kinda sad.  :(  Ima miss her although she is only 3 hours away.  It sucks, when she went to Tailand to study for it, it was hard..but I spose this will be easier since it IS only that 3 hour drive...2 1/2 if your me ;) Mwahahha

So im getting my breaks fixed tonight.  For those of you who do not know...My breaks have been bad for about a month...I bought the breaks a couple days ago $20 for both front ones, not bad at all.  So David took the tire off and was using the socket to get a bolt off...socket broke.  So he went next door and asked Charlie *Landlord* if he had one, he did and let us use it.  Broke.   GREAT.  So, we were lookin at my break pads...none left on my right tire.  AWESOME!  lol  So that is what is happening today, we are fixing that.  Yayyyy! 

OOo...I started a diet.  Im doing very well on it.  yayyy me!

Im excited to see my Dad...I havent seen him since well last week I seen him from across the parking lot at CLydes in the ferry line..but before that it was Easter.  I havent seen my Grandma Nolan since....Christmas.  Wow...maybe I should go see her when I get off at Clydes tomorrow.  Well anyways I think this is long enough for now. 

These are some songs i have my cd player on repeat right now...and ill tell you what they remind me of..lol And some..just have a story in my life or moments in life i remember because of these songs

This reminds me of my Daddy

Title: Stealing Cinderella by Chuck Wicks

I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man
It wasn't any secret i'd be asking for her hand
I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself
with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf

- Chorus -

She was playing Cinderella
She was riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella


I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?"
I said "Yes, she quite a woman"
and he just stared at me
Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be

- Chorus –

Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella


He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she threw her arms around him
That's when I could see it too

- Chorus -

She was Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can't blame the fella
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

******

I could always have a good cry on this song..and this one reminds me of my mom, i have more for her..The first time I moved out..I was 18 and it was like 9:40 a.m. *I swear to god i will always remember this* It was pretty crappy outside.  I had to stop from moving things and I sat on the couch and it was the first time Carrie Underwood sang this song on T.V, first time we had ever heard it..My Mom and I sat on the couch and cried. It was on Regis and Kelly.  It was prolly the one time I will remember everything that happened in those 3 minutes lol  And for a while when i was little I used to call my Grandma Me-Maw lol...this song is perfect

Title: Dont forget to remember me by Carrie Underwood

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they just drug on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a bible
If you ever loose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
and those bills there on the counter 
Keep tellin me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
Hey momma don't forget.... to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-ma that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
Lord I feel so small some times in this big ol' place
I know there are more important things, but
Don't forget to remember me
Don't forget to remember me
*************************************************

This song goes to both my parents, I go to the Hilltop and sing once in a while.  And I remember my whole family was there and it was right after I had moved out, and I had never sang this song before, and I seen my Dad cry..he had to walk out of the bar..it was great..well not cuz he cried.  But because...it showed me a lot about him.  And he told me afterwards..he said "That is your song my girl, you will shine, and I will always cry" Then we had a good laugh but it sticks out too.

They say in this town, stars stay up all night,
Well, I dont know, cant see em for the glow of the neon lights.
An' it's a long way from here to the place where the home fires burn.
Well it's two thousand miles and one left turn.

"Dear Mom and Dad,
"Please send money: im so broke that it aint funny.
"Well, I don't need much; just enough to get me through.
"Please dont worry 'cause I'm all right,
"Im playin here at the bar tonight.
"Well, this time, Im gonna make our dreams come true.
"Well, I love you more than anything in the world,
"Love,
"Your baby girl."

Black jack, blue sky: big town full of little white lies.
Well, everybodys your friend: you can never be sure.
They'll promise fancy cars an' diamond rings, an' all sorts of shiny things,
But, girl, youll remember what your knees are for.

"Dear Mom and Dad,
"Please send money: Im so broke that it aint funny.
"Well, I don't need much; just enough to get me through.
"Please dont worry 'cause I'm all right,
"See, Im playin here at the bar tonight.
"Well, this time, Im gonna make our dreams come true.
"Well, I love you more than anything in the world,
"Love,
"Your baby girl."

I know that Im on my way.
Well, I can tell every time I play.
An' I know its worth all the dues I pay,
When I can write to you and say:

"Dear Mom and Dad,
"Ill send money. I m so rich that it aint funny.
"Well it oughtta be more than enough to get you through.
"Please dont worry 'cause I m all right,
"See, Im stayin here at the Ritz tonight
"Whaddya know, we made our dreams come true.
"An' there are fancy cars an' diamond rings,
"But you know that they don't mean a thing.
"Well, they all add up to nothin' compared to you.
"Well, remember me in ribbons an' curls.
"I still love you more than anything in the world:
"Love,
"Your baby girl."

Ah yeah.

Your baby girl.
("Dear Mom and Dad,
("Please send money: I m so broke that it ain t funny.)
("Don't need much; just enough to get me through.)
Your baby girl.
("Please don t worry 'cause I'm all right,
("Playin here at the bar tonight.)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh.)
Dreams come true.

*********************************************************************

I will always remember my Aunt Amy *like my best friend* getting up on stage at the Hilltop and grabbing a microphone and saying to my now exboyfriend "HEY...YAH THIS ONES FOR YOU..HOPE YOU LIKE IT" and she sang it and just screamed it wtih so much anger lol..it was embarassing..for him..but i loved it because I knew just where she was coming from..2 days later I told him I wouldnt take his shit and I had to be me..and we were done..

Title: Stupid boy by Keith Urban

Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild and wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind
She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess you build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right but now you've lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah

Well, she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, ya did
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy, oh, I'm the same old
Same old stupid boy

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
Ah, she's gone
*************************************************************************

This next one reminds me of my Dads Mom, just because he heard the song and mentioned somethign about it...My Grandpa Nolan died when my Dad was young..My Grandma never found anyone else...always stuck close with the family and is our rock.  THis song is my Grandma Nolan.

Title: Love of a woman by Travis Tritt

My baby knows me better than I do
Funny how a woman has that over a man
I can do anything with her here beside me
Leaning on her is where I make my stand

Chorus:
Where would we be without the love of a woman
Standing behind her man even when he's wrong
The true pure undying love of a woman
Makes a man a fool to think he can make it alone

My daddy was a wild one when he was younger
Everybody told my mama he'd be hard to tame
Full of himself he said 'sir' to nobody
But you oughta see him come a runnin' when mama calls his name

Chorus

Oh, yeah...

A man goes crazy trying to catch his feelings
Too much pride or maybe the words come out wrong
But that's okay 'cause he's still her hero
Steady as a rock, her love keeps rolling along

Chorus

Makes a man a fool to think he can make it alone
****************************************************************

This is my last one for the day.   This one probably means the most to me...  My cousin Dawn was like 25 when she died.  She had a Kidney disease.  I remember the morning she died, I heard the phone ring, and all of a sudden my dad was out of bed and in the shower.  I remember going into my Moms room to see what was going on and she was just sitting on the side of the bed staring at the wall..and she had told me and I just went to the ground.  My Aunt had told us all that the day she died she was singing this song...They played this song at her funeral.  And I saw him in concert..just to hear him sing this song.  I do believe this is why my family is so anti- War Memorial Hospital.  I guess she had gone there because she was not feeling good...on her way home..it got worse they drove her back to the hospital..and she died.  If maybe the would have run a test or two..they could have caught it.

Title: Its a great day to be alive by Travis Tritt

I got rice cooking in the microwave
Got a three day beard I don't plan to shave
And it's a goofy thing but I just gotta say
Hey I'm doing alright

Yeah I think I'll make me some homemade soup
Feelin pretty good and that's the truth
It's neither drink nor drug induced
No I'm just doin alright

Chorus:
And it's a great day to be alive
I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes
There's some hard times in the neigborhood
But why can't every day be just this good?

It's been fifteen years since I left home
Said good luck to every seed I'd sown
Give it my best and then I left it alone
Oh...I hope their doin alright

Now I look in the mirror and what do I see?
A lone wolf there starin back at me
Long in the tooth but harmless as can be
Lord I guess he's doin alright

Chorus

Sometimes it's lonely
Sometimes it's only me
And the shadows that fill this room
Sometimes I'm fallin
Desperately callin
Howlin at the moon...
Ahwoo!
Ahwoo!

Well I might go get me a new tattoo
Or take my old Harley for a three day cruise
Might even grow me a Fu Man Chu...
Oh Aww!

Chorus (2 x's)

***********************************************************

Okay im done..I feel better.  lol  dont know what it is..but music always seems to maek me feel better woo hoo..even if its just reading the lyrics..its still great stuff..

That is my score for a test i took at www.typingtest.com  It was fun! lol

Anyways I'm really starting to worry about my Mom.  Shes still sick...and is suppose to go to Ann Arbor tuesday but she just doesn't want to go there sick, cuz shes scared there going to keep her.  But I'm starting to think that maybe they should, it might help.  But that's just her..shes so skinny.  No wonder shes sick all the time..her immune system isn't strong enough her skinny lil body cant handle it. 

So my brother *Nick* is coming to stay wit me tonight, him and his friend Adam.  Hes like Amber I need to get out of the house..Moms sick and ive been taking care of her all week..even went grocery shopping for her today!  Which makes my mom really sick..if she cant get up to go shopping..she loves shopping..and that makes me sad. 

My throat is starting to hurt again too, that sucks i just gave my mom all my cough drops so I'm go home tonight and load up on some cold meds!  Thank God Nick will be there to make sure i don't O.D hahah. 

Ive been thinking a lot about things lately.  And I'm realizing..how happy I am.  And that's weird for me because I can usually pick out a lot of flaws about every aspect in my life, and believe me my life sure as hell ain't perfect...but I'm content.  And I'm happy!  Ive never felt this way before.  It sucks though because I was talking to my Mom today and asked her if Dad was ever going to come to my house...been living there a month..haven't seen him at my house once.  My Grandpa helped me move.  Of course my Dad let me use his truck, I think its just hard for him right now.  Ive moved out before, but lived with my girlfriends..not a boy.  Its very hard for him.  Especially when my Mom was in the hospital...my Grandma Sharon had noticed my ring, and was like ooooooo let me see your ring!  So I let her see it...and she showed my Dad and he just kinda looked at it..lol  Hes my Daddy though...I'm a Daddy's girl all the way!...its hard for him.  Hes told me many times before he cant handle it right now.  But I have to grow up someday.  I was thinking about going back to school soon, maybe taking some summer classes at Lake State or something.  But I always say that.  Well I'm gonna go, pop some pills ;)